The Maverick going maverick

Uh, oh! The Maverick is getting all mavericky again at his Twitter account. He's posting about more scandalous "earmarks", rolling them out one Tweet at a time. I've collected the latest set here for you reading convenience, with helpful commentary interspersed:

It's Pork Barrel Wednesday: today I will tweet the Top 10 pork barrel projects from the Energy & Water conference report starting with #10 ...

#10. $1 million for the New School Green Building in New York

Yeah, isn't that dumb to have something about energy-efficient buildings in an energy bill?

#9. $750,000 for the Algae to Ethanol Research and Evaluation in New Jersey

Researching algae, imagine that! Who cares about researchin' that slimy-looking stuff anyhow? And how could you git energy from it? You can see in floatin' in the water. It's obviously wet, so how could you burn it? How dumb does these here scientist types thank we are?

#8. $1 million for the Performance Assessment Institute in Nevada

"Performance assessment", phuh! Everbody knows you don't assess performance, you perform performance.

#7. $1 million for the Alaska Climate Center in Alaska

Hail, why would they need a climate center in Alaska? All people in Alaska have to do is walk outside and they can tell what the climate is! And whut's climate have to do with energy and water anyhow? Don't tell me it's about global warming, 'cause next thang you'll be tellin' me is that the earth ain't flat no more!

#6. $1.2 million for the Hydrogen Fuel Dispensing Station in West Virginia

Yeah, and what's stuff about fuel doin' in an energy bill? And what kind of fuel is hydrogen anyway? You can only use it for balloons. Is this some new hippie idea to ban cars and make people fly around with balloons instead?

#5. $10 million for the Sustainable Energy Research Center in Mississippi

Does the Maverick hate Southerners? Or maybe he just doesn't think anyone in Mississippi has sense enough to know who to spend $10 million? Funny, this article makes it sound like the Aggies at Mississippi State's SERC actually may know what they're doing: Making the Best of Wastewater by Susanne Retka Schill Biodiesel Magazine Oct 2008. Why do elitist rightwing Republicans look down on Southerners?

#4. $2 million for the Algae Research in Washington

More research on that slimy yucky algae? Hey, how much do you need to know about this stuff? It's wet, it's gross and who caires?

#3. $1.2 million for the Alternative Energy School of the Future in Nevada

Why do we need some school for alternative energy? Look, we've got fuel for cars, fuel for trucks, fuel for airplanes, why do we need to send somebody to school to learn all that?

#2. $2.25 million for the Montana Bio-Energy Center of Excellence in Montana

Excellence, phsaw! Mah grandaddy didn't have no need for any of this here sissy "excellence" nonsense. Sounds like a bunch of tree-hugger atheist goofin' around to me! And why do they have to call it the Montana Bio-Energy Center if it's already in Montana? The people there already know it's Montana don't they? The thangs these libruls come up, ah tell yuh!

#1. $6 million for the Hawaii Renewable Energy Development Venture

Ah never heard of such a ridiculus thang in all mah days. Ain't the Ventures some sangin' group? Yeah, they're the ones that played the theme song for that thar Hawaii Five-O show, ain't they?And the Democrat Party wants to give 'um six million dollars?! This country's just goin' to Hail in a handbasket, ah tell yuh that raight now.

Tags: mccain